I'm making that Lewis Black confused sound again

I love a good hypocrisy to stir things up.

I just had the pleasure of seeing a bumper sticker that read, "Forget the tea. Pass the tar and feathers!"

Do people really think that the next step after their ridiculous tea parties should be tarring and feathering people they disagree with? I think we got a misrepresented view of tarring and feathering when we learned about the American Revolution in the 5th grade. For some reason it seems romantic to us, a vision of "American Spirit" and telling the British what's what and all that.

That being said, I don't believe that most people realize that tarring and feathering a person could KILL THEM. Out and out KILL THEM. The hot tar burns so badly that in most cases they will die, and if they live, chances are they'll have no skin. Yeah, fun.

So, what these people are saying is, essentially, the age-old adage of "You disagree with me, so I'm going to kill you." Yeah, that's great. "I disagree with your liberal taxes and so therefore I am going to steal you from your home, rip your clothes off and dump a barrel of scalding hot tar on your body and then, to add insult to injury, throw feathers on you."

Jesus would totally agree with you, man. Kill the fuckers who don't agree with you, it's cool. As long as you come back to Church on Sunday.

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THIS COUNTRY

Stop Looking at My Underwear

A lot of people have been bitching lately about the new and added security at airports after the Christmas Day Underwear Bomber fiasco. The big thing is the 3D scanner thingy, which takes an image of the body under the clothes. People are balking over "privacy rights!"

Need I remind everyone that we live in a country where the Patriot Act is legal? We HAVE no privacy rights, remember? The government is allowed to look into our private lives for no reason other than the security of the Fatherland. Excuse me, Homeland. We're only a few steps away from the vans in V for Vendetta that patrol the streets listening to home conversations - because it's for the betterment of the country's safety. And your safety, presumably. Didn't we agree to give up some of those rights so that the country would be safe from terrorists? Well, aside from the fact that nobody in the Congress actually read the damn thing...but that's beside the point. And, since most people out there agree with the Patriot Act, we should not have any problem whatsoever about showing our undies to the TSA agent at the airport so that we can avoid a plane being blown up. Seems logical to me anyway.

Oh, right...we love extra security and the loss of privacy rights when it only affects someone else. But start to take away MY rights....and we can't stand for that one.

EARTH TO AMERICA

Doing my best to piss off the Right Wing

I was having a discussion via Twitter with theoldbat1, aka @RutheeS, about abortion rights and things like that, and some conservative jerkoff budged his way into our conversation with this:

@jay_pe: @zatzie @RutheeS baby murderers. Your fake concern for others is not honorable. Your mother was pro-life but you are a disgrace.

@zatzie: @jay_pe @RutheeS Actually, my mother had an abortion before me because her baby would have been born with no brain stem. So fuck off. When's the last time you actually did something good for another living person anyway? Inconsiderate, judgmental jerk.

(That is absolutely true, by the way, about my mom.)

@jay_pe: @zatzie pottymouth = you chose death to boys & girls. Nice choice freaks.

@zatzie: @jay_pe I am assuming you are pro-war? How many boys and girls have you willingly and supportively sent off to be killed in Iraq? How kind.

In short, YES! Doing my best to piss off the self-righteous bastards of the right wing! Huzzah! I'm sure this will continue...I will post highlights if I get really good ones.



The hypocrisy is staggering

Another righteous, religious-Christian Republican politician bites the dust:

Republican Gov. Sanford admits extramarital affair

After going missing for a few days, the governor of South Carolina admitted that not only was he in Argentina (which first off I don't think is that big a deal), but he had an affair with an Argentinian...woman, I am assuming. The article doesn't actually say, but for the sake of fairness I'll just assume it was a woman. Although the alternative kinda gives me a nice giggle.

But oh! The hypocrisy! Here's another one of these righteous, God-Is-Good Republicans preaching about how we need to be faithful to our spouses and not have sex with people we are not married to....banging another woman. Tsk, tsk.

You know, I don't give a crap if you want to tell people to be righteous and monogamous and abstinent, but at least practice what you preach, how about? Let us not tell other people what they ought to be doing and then do differently ourselves. Evidently, there's a lot of people out there who rule by the "do as I say, not as I do" example.

Yes, yes, I know that not only Republicans have affairs. Look at Eliot Spitzer. But it's usually the Repubs who are the ones spouting about the church and abstinence and being faithful...and then they're also the ones who end up DOING all the shit they tell you not to do. "Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown," evidently. Look at Larry Craig. And Ted Haggard.

Yes, you're leading by righteous example now! And Jesus thanks you for it.

To my conservative family and friends:

Dear conservative friends and family members:

Don't send me your bullshit right-wing pro-gun pro-life pro-church anti-other countries except America propaganda e-mails. In return, I, the liberal, will not send you my radical, left-wing pro-gun control pro-choice pro-science pro-other countries except America propaganda e-mails.

I bring it up because I never send out liberal-slanted e-mails to you, my conservative friends and family members, but you seem to send me your bullshit all the time. It's not as if you don't know I'm liberal. What, do you think I'm actually going to read your shit? Certainly not, it's going in the trash bin immediately. Good god, that pisses me off.

Thanks. Glad we could come to terms on this one.

Z

Open Invitation

Another headline that just made me cringe:

People on terrorist watch list allowed to buy guns

My blog just writes itself sometimes, doesn't it?

Yes, forget about the yellow-orange-red alert color days or the grand efforts of the Office of Homeland Security, let's just let these people just walk right into America (because we're so good at keeping them out) and then give them guns! Perfect! It's 9/11 2.0! Yes, isn't this just the next thing we need. Known troublemakers on the terrorist watch list being allowed to legally buy guns...that's just almost asking them to come and shoot us!

Hello! Is anyone awake in there? I think not.

Maybe I will stay in New Zealand when I get there next year. America is pissing me off more and more these days.

Damn hippies...

I drove past an old VW bug this afternoon that was bedecked in peace symbols and stickers representing equality and peace, and yet all the same, there was a giant sign plastered to the back bumper that loudly asked, "WHERE IS OBAMA'S PAPERS?"

Oh dear.

Don't forget, kids, "Rarely is the question asked, is our children learning?"

I almost leaned out the window at a red light to ask the driver if she knew that her grammar on the back of the bug was incorrect, but didn't quite get the opportunity. I can usually forgive misplaced apostrophes and incorrect usage of the word "your/you're" but come on...this one was so obvious a 3rd grader could have picked out the plural.

The driver was also pretty young, too, so it's not like I could blame the Summer of Love on the loss of some integral brain cells.